Lava Hunter

2012-02-11T18:02:00.001+08:00

Here is one picture of me in school! Too lazy to find the rest. Its out there... Somewhere. off the achieve my weekend goals!

8th day of school (supposed to post this 2 day ago)

2012-02-11T17:54:00.001+08:00

Random:
today I tried reading TIME magazine and I couldn't understand most of it ): I seriously think my English is damn lousy.

that was two days ago and I remembered that I was supposed to blog more but ended up being too lazy.

Today, all I feel like saying now is that I have 3 goals for the weekend:
1)Finish reading 3 books
2)Do maths... I mean a revision on the entire amaths syllabus in a weekend zz
3)Read the news papers daily including the previous days news

How ambitious am I?
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Fb

2012-02-05T22:46:00.001+08:00

Today I played in valhall once again. I can't remember the last time I played there. Wow... Just wow... I'm really bad at floorball now. Wait, I was never good. Now I'm worst. Great... I can't play forward for fuck sake. What's with my failure to adapt, major failure!!! I can't play anything well...... I need to put in more effort in whatever I do

Anw I really miss jocelyn and joey and the old valhall!!! The new valhall looks too clean and new for comfort. Sports will be even more fun if its a bit dirty like dirt and perspiration! I remember us lying on the dirty floor and not feeling very dirty. Bathing in the dirty toilet, Taking cab to valhall and slacking at the shop. Talking to joey, watching people play and all. I just miss it so much today when I went to valhall. I didn't really think that all these fun times would ever end. But it did... Quite abruptly in fact.

Must thank mave for inviting me :)
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2012-02-05T02:01:00.001+08:00

Trololololol some people just make you feel like saying "stfu bitch"
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2012-01-30T01:39:00.001+08:00

"We swore we will never change but now I'm left here alone"
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2012-01-30T01:31:00.001+08:00

See I can't wake up I'm living a nightmare
That keeps playing over again
Locked in a room so hung up on you
And you're cool with just being friends

Left on the sidelines
Stuck at a red light
Waiting for my time
And I can't see

Why don't you love me?
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Who would have known?

2012-01-28T04:27:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you can't get your hopes up too high. Even if you felt, well, special. For all you know he just treats all other girls the same way. You know how some guys are totally good with girls. They know what to say or know when to do as they deemed fit. One day, you wake up and realise something was wrong. The tone, the messages or the fact that there was nothing. It just feels different. And you replay all your memories. You get lost in your own thoughts. A film in your head, that doesn't seem to have a stop or pause button at all. You kept thinking, what did I do or said? For the millionth time, you spotted no mistake. You don't get it. Ok maybe when he stared at you, you should not have looked away. But that's it! Could that one mistake contribute to the outcome today? Is that even considered as a mistake? Then you replay the whole film in your head. It never ends. You meet new people, you start to compare. The comparing never ends and you start to push everyone away. On some days, you feel like you're finally free. You emerged from your cocoon and became a butterfly. Completely free, the fresh scent of sheer freedom felt great. But then, before you know it, you come across a spark. A spark that reminded you of what had happened and you thought of him. You know how they say it takes only a spark to rekindle the flame. So that's what happened and The film is being played in your mind again. Distracted, you plunged into darkness. your wings, which brought you freedom, also brought harm as eventually gave in to gravity. "Thud" you land on the ground. Wings torn beyond repair. You're back to where you started. You're a caterpillar once again, going back to the past you could not escape from. You wonder when will you ever be shining against the darkness? Do you understand how it feels?
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2012-01-28T03:55:00.001+08:00

"Baby you light up my world like nobody else"
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2012-01-28T03:41:00.003+08:00

"At last, there it was, shining bright against the darkness, a tail of dusty starlight fading in its wake: violet's shooting star"
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2012-01-28T03:41:00.001+08:00

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2012-01-27T22:16:00.001+08:00

Hi! I'm so excited for tmr and for mon and tuesday
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hey hey you you!

2012-01-27T02:28:00.000+08:00

3 things I apply every night and of course my bloody eye mask. I'm determined to follow the every-girl-must-do routine and not be lazy. Ugh!!! Ok back to reading lol

Even if there is entirely no hope left, I can still find a reason to hold on to that feeling.

2012-01-26T00:02:00.001+08:00

so what if I cared and still care. It doesn't matter now. I know that it takes 2 hands to clap so whatever.
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2012-01-25T00:46:00.000+08:00

"I think it's difficult to say whether there is such a thing as hope or not. Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence"

- the wisdom of china and india (reader's digest)
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"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated."

2012-01-24T03:17:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone! Basically I decided to blog cause I don't want to sleep and I want to talk about my day.

Today is day 1 of chinese new year. As usual, you know how cny goes. These words pretty much sums up everything: awkward, people whom you see once a year, red packets, bored. Well, at least that was how mine went. I don't get to keep my red packets money so whatever. Anyway this year I kind of miss some things about cny. Cny used to be more... Grand and livelier. Things changed and now its different. I just never thought that certain things will end. I thought some visiting were supposed to last forever or something. I was wrong.

Confession: I overspent. Not exactly but I should have way more than I have now. I still have not pay for shipping fees and my phone bills will arrive any time soon. Yes I pay my own phone bills. I really wish I can be super independent. Save my own money, buy a house and a car and all but its not gonna happen anytime soon. I used to want to get a house and car by 18 but I realised we can only drive at 21 now. Plus! I don't think I have the capital to do so. lol! and I even wanted a service apartment with laundry services and all. I was being ridiculous.

I bought the eye cream and dry shampoo. Everyone knows what an eye cream is for. Dry shampoo will help to absorb the grease on your hair and make you feel like you just washed your hair when you did not. I think that will come in handy when I have to go to school and have no time to bathe. Perfect! I don't like bathing in the morning cause I hate HATE drying my hair. Unfortunately I had been using the hair dryer for the entire holiday! Ugh!

When is school starting? I can't wait for school to start... Wherever I'm going. Just so excited for school. Definitely looking forward to the posting results! I already got school supplies from smiggle. haven't been able to bring myself to wash my school bag. I think I'm not changing my bag. I love it too much. I know this paragraph had been repeated for the umpteenth time.

Ok I should sleep. Visiting 2 more houses tmr zzzzzzzzz.
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2012-01-23T23:49:00.003+08:00

"All my little plans & schemes,lost like some forgotten dreams,seems that all I really was doin was waitin for u."
— "Real Love," The Beatles
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2012-01-23T23:49:00.001+08:00

"If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?"
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2012-01-23T23:47:00.001+08:00

"Endless longing; a face you'd known since childhood.These were things you nvr spoke of, nvr hoped for, things you could never admit to"
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2012-01-23T23:46:00.001+08:00

"Even if I have hundred reasons to leave you, I'd still look for that one reason to fight for you "
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2012-01-22T02:07:00.001+08:00

Summing up my thoughts of the day

2012-01-22T01:57:00.001+08:00

Exactly

She's not what you think!!

2012-01-21T21:07:00.000+08:00

I'm so free from 6pm till now and it feels weird. So today was my last day of work and i have no plans whatsoever. Actually i just decided to stay in. I finished watching pretty little liars and i'm soooo bored. Even though i'm using the computer now, i'm absolutely clueless as to what to do. Maybe i'll play sims 3 later haha.

Anyway i'm sharing with you my current obsession:

Number 1:

Yup! The Nicole by OPI. Its by the kardashian and jenners and its so pretty! I don't know when will it be available. I hope to get it online ASAP! I really want the top extreme right called Rainbow in the S-kylie by Kylie of course. I think Kendall's are really pretty too. I want all the glitter ones. I loveeeeee glitter nails. I've been looking for rainbow connection by opi but to no avail! Had to settle for a look-a-like. fine.

Number 2:

Clear Here™ T-Zone Oil-Control Daily Moisture Lotion

I really want this! I think working in Chanel really made me want to protect my skin. Fyi i use no products at all. 1) i'm too lazy 2) i don't bother 3) i rather spend my $ on other stuff. But now! I don't think that way anymore!

This item cost about $30 plus SGD and i think its quite expensive. OK fine, i admit, i rather spend on other things. But i want this too... No. wait, i need it! UGH!

Seriously..... i just might get this..... online. I'm too damn lazy to head down to ion. Its so wtf. i'm very sick of the whole orchard place blah.

Number 3:

Ole Henriksen fresh start eye creme

Firstly! This will $50 PLUS SGD!!! No worries, you'll be mine... someday..... somehow lol. no pun intended :p

I'll watch from a safe place so I never have to lose

2012-01-18T22:32:00.001+08:00

We never stood a chance out there
Shooting love in real-time
So we'll take it over ice tonight
With a little salt
And a little lime

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2012-01-18T19:23:00.001+08:00

"Maybe I misread him, that he'd actually been bored with me that day and desperate to get out of my company. Still, I went over and over every moment in my head and I couldn't forget the way his body stayed pressed against mine"
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2012-01-17T13:17:00.001+08:00

Some moron

2012-01-16T03:21:00.001+08:00

You know what I wish? You know what keeps me wishing? Its you. Its always fucking-ly you. How annoying are you. you know what? Above all of this shit I actually yearn to no longer wish for you. To not even met you. Like meeting you was something I predicted, like staying in touch was my choice. Ok fuck. Staying in touch was my choice but whatever. You're living my dream, so fuck you motherfucker.

Everything reminds me of you. My surroundings, people, words they say and all. What's so great about you anyway. You're just another human being I met out of billions or trillions of people. I hate missing people. I hate that feeling. It makes me wanna die instantaneously! The "needy" and "clingy" feeling can easily be an excuse for a suicide.

Most of all, I can't bring myself to hate you. Fuck.

--

You wanna know something about me? I hate people who blurt out expertises like nobody's business. The only person I feel ok with using vulgar is me.

--

Ok fine I'm just feeling so damn cranky nowadays. Can you believe I rather sit in the kitchen and rot for 4 hours than to wash up? Wash up (for me) = taking out contacts, washing my face, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, brushing the damn retainers, clean the tongue (haha fuck I'm typing it anyway), mouth wash, face mask/ creams, body cream. Seriously that's what I do. But in the end I end up being even more ugly by the second. Geez. I'm not complaining about body cream though! The vanilla scent is the best!!! Hands down!!! Say yes to victoria secret vanilla lace scent!

I actually can't believe I'm posting this. I don't usually have impromptu blog post. I think before typing shit on the internet. I don't think I live in the 21st century sometimes.

--

I'm supposed to meet jeanne at 10am at tanah merah mrt. Look at the time now.
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Failure in adaptation

2012-01-16T02:45:00.001+08:00

Its funny. Same book, same main story but different main characters. Still, why do the book seemed so different? I'm madly in love with this book and the secret agents. I love secret agents but this time, reading this book felt kinda different... I hope this is not down to me and my failure in adaptation.

Anyway, I had been quite busy lately. Working and all. I can't wait for 30 january and I'm quite sure school will start soon for me. Already got the school supplies needed but won't be buying a new bag or shoes. I want to wear my converse to school since I don't have to wear white shoes anymore :) chinese new year is coming so soon and I think I just want to eat. No point receiving money if I get none. I kind of overspent lol. Online shopping is crazy. $200 gone in 0.5 hour seemed perfectly normal when your fingers does the shopping. I just swore to myself that I won't shop anymore. I mean... Its not like I'm going to need all of it.

I'm so excited for school...... Wherever I will be going ;)
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2012-01-15T02:24:00.001+08:00

Exactly

2012-01-13T22:00:00.001+08:00

"Some people, they can't just move on, you know, mourn and cry and be done with it. Or at least seem to be. But for me… I don't know. I didn't want to fix it, to forget. It wasn't something that was broken. It's just…something that happened. And like that hole, I'm just finding ways, every day, of working around it. Respecting and remembering and getting on at the same time."
—Sarah Dessen (The Truth about Forever)
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2012-01-13T21:36:00.001+08:00

"How do people, like, not curse? How is it possible? There are these gaps in speech where you just have to put a 'fuck.' I'll tell you who the most admirable people in the world are: newscasters. If that was me, I'd be like, "And the motherfuckers flew the fucking plane right into the Twin Towers." How could you not, if you're a human being? Maybe they're not so admirable. Maybe they're robot zombies."
-Nick Hornby (A Long Way Down)
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2012-01-10T20:52:00.001+08:00

I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me
I'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me
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2012-01-10T12:57:00.000+08:00

Treating my family to cupcakes because I love them. I used to think cupcakes are just a pretty face. It wouldn't be tasty but I was wrong. Cupcakes, hot chocolate and a cherub book, exactly what I need right now

Thoughts

2012-01-05T14:40:00.001+08:00

I'm thinking of treating my family to cupcakes. Baking didn't even cross my mind fyi. What for? I waste time and money baking and end up it turns out to taste like shit. I reckon its better if I just buy some. and maybe macarons too, I love those from katong. So yup, will get these 2.
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2012-01-04T15:22:00.001+08:00

skies without the clouds are beautiful
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2012-01-04T01:34:00.001+08:00

I finished reading a book in one night. Started around 8 and I just ended. Ok I'm a dork. Goodnight!! Whatever I planned for tomorrow is cancelled... Grr damn it.
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Its just not that easy

2012-01-04T01:31:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wonder if its possible to not get over people? Whether they had passed on or someone you lost. There isn't a guide book or any useful advices.
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Let's talk about school!

2012-01-02T03:48:00.001+08:00

I really feel like going to school right now? I just like the idea of wearing my school uniform with my old jansport bag and packing it and blah. School do suck but not everything about school suck, isn't it? What I really want now is to get new stationery. I just found out a way to organise my items.
Things I need are:
1) Binders
2) Pencil cases (all entirely new stationary please) with holes so that I can file them in my binders
3) Planner (actually I just bought a mini one from typo at $2)
4) Post it notes (which I already have but whatever)
5) Paper separaters
4) A folder with holes so that I can file it into my binders too

I reckon that could cost to close to $100 (13.3 hours of work? What?!).
I think I'll continue using my jansport bag cause I absolutely love it! Although I admit that I have to start to wash it.

Actually I don't know where am I heading to at the moment? I really don't know? I just know the possibility of certain things. The thing is I still want to be like... In school. Like... School uniform and all. Believe me, I do not hate uniforms. I don't know why people hate them but whatever. Imagine having to wake up every morning and plan what to wear. I don't have a lot of clothes, mostly I'm in denim shorts and shirt. That's like... Me. I don't bother planning at night whatsoever.
I don't like studying lol. Not hate but I just don't really like it. Let's say... Moderate. Damn life sucks. Now I seriously wish I get somewhere, somehow. I don't want to end up stranded aka neither here nor there, cause that sucks.

I am sosososo nervous about my results. I know people are annoyed at my predictions but yea, who really knows? What if something super bad happens? What do I do? Die? Dead? Death? Died? Omg this is driving me nuts more than ever. I don't recall being this nervous for psle. It was like I don't really give a damn. Anyway in the end I merely scrapped through and I don't want it to happen again. I can already predict how badly am I gonna do. What if I can't get anywhere? I'm not ruling out that possibility. My results had been super bad since the day I started studying. I'm not going to turn into a complain queen right this moment.

Anyway guys, I got a new job. Lol
I'm so overwhelmed by my future (school! O levels! School!) that I feel nothing about this new job. Bring in the money baby
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Countdown for 2012

2012-01-02T00:47:00.000+08:00

Was at uss for the new year countdown. It was fab! My favourite ride have to be battlestar galatica. I'm a major fan of theme parks. The scarier the ride, the better

2011-12-30T14:21:00.001+08:00

I absolutely love it when my fridge is stocked up. May I just say the supermarket at 112 katong is awesome? Its just like the cold storage in kallang leisure. So many different variety of food!!! There's a lot of instant and frozen food. My family love instant food like frozen food which u just put in the microwave. Instant salmon with lemon butter sauce.
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2011-12-30T05:05:00.001+08:00

There can only be that much hope
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End of 2011/Thoughts of 2012

2011-12-30T02:29:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone

30jan, 1.45am

2011 was not the best year but it was the year I was able to let go.
There was someone who I had not spoken to for the entire year. Sometimes my surroundings made me think of that person or feel really sad. But seriously? What can I really do? This person was someone special. It was difficult to let go. He will always remain as my best friend. I'm so glad I even know him. How do I put it? He is just fantastic and perfect in everything but nevermind, I'll find someone like him. Speaking of which, this reminded me of a conversation:
"So how is it going?"
"Nevermind I'll find someone like him."
"That's pretty difficult cause he's so perfect."
"Geez, thanks. THAT MIGHT had cheered me up."
I can give myself a million reasons to hang on. I had only 1 reason to not to hang on to any hope. That 1 reason is so vital and strong that it over writes all the other million reasons to have a little faith. Faith ha! Faith. What exactly do I know? How much? I guess, in the end, we should all move on, shouldn't we? Can you not forget me? I knew this day would come. Would things be different if I actually bothered to voice out? Till today, all I ever wonder is how did you feel all along. I realised that I knew nothing. But forget it. So what if I want to know any answers now, not like It matter anymore.

Another reason why I said I was able to let go was kinda personal but I'm saying it anyway. So, I found out some people were really not what they seemed to be. Well, I only had myself to blame. Me and my poor judgement, thinking that it couldn't be true. I just forgot how manipulative certain people can get. On the account of the good times we had, which I wonder if all of it were faked, I guess I should be thankful that I got to know some people... Even if the friendship doesn't work out. I'm sure there just might be something real somewhere somehow. I don't really want to know the details anyway. For me, I'll remember everything, good or bad.

2011 was also my o levels year. None of my results are as bad as my mid years this year. I remembered that I really hit rock bottom and was devastated. Ok, not really, I actually saw it coming but it still hurts as much. O levels results on the 9 january is really driving me nuts. I know where I stand. I want to be prepared for whatever that is coming. No amount of preparation is ever enough. If I don't make it, I'm fully aware that I brought it upon myself. Anyway, it seemed like I'm not the only one who thinks that way... O levels made the year passed by too quickly. Ironically, I do enjoy the hectic lifestyle. Time just kept flying and I liked that. I like that time do fly!

I do miss school. I can't believe I'm saying this but I really do.
I miss sitting in class,
rushing to school every morning cause I really hate detentions,
eating the same food everyday,
using handphones in class,
tapping on some iphone's hotspot to loot internet,
Wearing some fugly uniform,
Complaining about this budget school,
Having some school spirit when it came to rebelling,
Studying hard together,
Complaining about teachers,
Having a blast with the class,
Listening to boring lesson,
Trying not to sleep in class,
The feeling of needing to sleep but can't sleep,
Taking the bus to school,
Friends drama,
Walking along the corridor,
Going for training,
Playing floorball,
Extra lessons with teachers,
Seeing teachers really putting in a lot of hardwork.
Damn I really will miss so many things I never thought I would.
I want to continue with this school life. I'm afraid to venture out. Guess I'm not so adventures after all, aren't I? I'm scared of everything, like cats. Typing that kinda reminds me of you.

I'm 17 next year. Ha ha okay...? So I'm growing up. One day, in less than 10 years, I'll be working as a full timer and be like any other adult, living on my own, be independent. No, I don't want to start a family, at least that's what I think now. 4 march... I'm either 1 in school or 2 still having my holidays. That answer will be out on 9 january aka Judgement day.

I have no say for next year. Unlike the other years where I had new year resolutions and stuff I find that this year I had nothing. I guess I just want to live my dream.
And hey I heard that your dream came true. I wish you all the best and well me? I'm still trying to figure out if I'll even get a shot at my dream.

This post might seemed super long but I forgot how short it really is.
-you
-them
-school
-olevels
-my future

That's short and with zero resolutions, nice. I forgot, I have no goals. I got it!

I want to finish reading all 10 books of pretty little liars and watch the newest season of keeping up with the kardashians and watch the upcoming reality tv show of kendall and kylie.

Ok, I have goals, you see, love.

31 dec 2011 I will be at uss for the countdown to 2012. How are you celebrating the new year? :)

Now I'll add 2 more things to "summary of this post" and it is
-goals
-31dec2011 plans

Lots of love,
Mel
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2011-12-29T22:46:00.001+08:00

Oh nice so now you think I have no options left. That's, well, pretty encouraging for a nervous person who is also worried sick.
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Guys who play sports are so damn hot

2011-12-29T02:03:00.001+08:00

Hey
Love
You are
Such
A
Cutie
Pie
I
Miss
You.
<3
To
See
U
Soon
...

Oh crap but I've decided to not come across as a freak

But
You are
Too
Cute
So
I
Don't
Care.

Why
R
U
So
Cute.

Wtf seriously
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"Just an east cost kid with a record deal"

2011-12-28T14:15:00.001+08:00

I'm in the bus otw home now. Just catched up with jocelyn over lunch at dtf at 112 katong. Damn! I'm going to miss her, that drama girl. Kinda nice to talk to someone familiar. Its like lower secondary all over again. 4 years of friendship with drama wow... Just wow. Love you <3 I don't know how did all the bad and good times just sort of blend and only the good stuff remains. All the best for mjc and floorball girl!!! I hope to see you in redsports one day ;)
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2011-12-28T02:08:00.001+08:00

Sometimes some people just make you want to stop having access to any social networking for good. Fuck you.
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Afiq's picture

2011-12-28T01:22:00.000+08:00

Toilet pictures lol.
Bathed in the boys toilet and these 2 guys actually help us wash the toilet floor and guard the toilet so that no one will enter. They literally sat outside the door. Thanks guys!! :)

27dec and I really had fun :)

Afiq's birthday

2011-12-28T01:18:00.003+08:00

Outside bedok point

Afiq's birthday

2011-12-28T01:18:00.001+08:00

I realised my smile is too wide -.-

Afiq's birthday

2011-12-28T01:17:00.001+08:00

My favourite picture of the day!

2011-12-28T01:16:00.000+08:00

My brother who thinks that its snowing in sg

Last day!

2011-12-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

26dec was my last day of work although I will be going back in jan to help out a bit. I cannot deny that I will definitely miss everyone. Kind of regretted not being able to take pics with some ppl... Life had been pretty good to me. I learnt that its not easy working in that company. Lol... The expectations, the need to keep up its image etc... Overall it was a fruitful experience. I indeed have a different perspective of the brand now. Talk about prices....... Haha. Have been working a lot. Its tiring but its worthwhile.
My plans for tomorrow onwards is to go out and have fun. After which I will rest till jan and probably work in a pastry shop (fingers crossed, may I get the job). If I get into jc then I will work for less than a month. Poly then I can work longer. So yup all planned out. Results... I'm so worried. Prepared for the worst, plan b. Had plan a, having plan b.

2011-12-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

tell me what do you see and
tell me who you think of whenyou just can't fall asleep and
all the things I took for granted
momentsgone
forever wasted
all the stupid things I did I'd take them back
so tellme what to do to make you change your mind
I wish that I could find a wayto turn back time cause I'm just not the same since you've been gone.
Inever should have let you go cause I'm falling to pieces
and I just wannalet you know that I can't keep pretending I never should have let you go

2011-12-27T00:36:00.001+08:00

And this is liting. My "partner" throughout the time I was in chanel

2011-12-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

Me, liting, manager. Swear my eye bag is the worst zzzzz and I'm the youngest

2011-12-27T00:35:00.000+08:00

With bangs I look like an egg. I hate my eye bags

2011-12-22T19:17:00.001+08:00

I'm still trying to decide exactly how I feel. Let me think... Happy? Worried? how about happy and worried with a hint of jealousy. Yea, that did some justice to my feelings.

Anyway.... Chanel's nail polishes are awesome!!! strangely, I never had a keen interest in polishing my nails basically because I totally suck at it. That includes my disinterest in opi nail polish. If I wanted my nails painted I had to go for medicure. Chanel's nail polish are super easy to paint. However, they (my nails) are rather destroyed now lol. I need to be more gentle damn! I want to buy the nail polish so badly but it cost $36 which is slightly more than half of what I earn in a day. Should I go for it or not?

Cause I don't want to be a friend

2011-12-22T19:17:00.000+08:00

a friend dont think about you when he's dreaming
or every single minute that he's breathing
so why is this so hard to believe
a friend wont do it all to try to please you
a friend can never kiss you when he sees you
& you know I wont (?) so just please dont call me friend

oh no you didnt just call me friend
oh no I must be hearing things
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Delish!

2011-12-16T15:46:00.000+08:00

I don't know what's gotten into me but I made mac and cheese!! carrot juice and generous amount of cheese!

Some guys are such potential bitches

2011-12-16T13:23:00.000+08:00

Currently reading this book called twelve rooms with a view. I realised that I should really get a bookmark instead of folding my pages. I don't really take care of my books anymore haha. I bend the spines and stuff. And the other 2 pictures are pictures of yesterday when I was at taka and the bus stop was crowded, so was the taxi stand. Feeling bored... I decided to snap a pic. Yup so that's about it. Will be super busy till the 26? Kind of looking forward to 27!! Hope everything goes as planned and of course january!!!

2011-12-14T20:21:00.001+08:00

Damn! I'm going to miss 4e2. I miss school. I miss sitting in class
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Those years

2011-12-13T02:46:00.001+08:00

My f21 package went missing....... Lol. I bought a skirt. First vs and now f21, geez! thanks singpost.
So anyway, a little update on myself. I was pretty compelled to put make up at first. Think about 1) the trouble 2) the amount of money needed. Now, things are different. I'm a little more than crazy over it. I bought a few make up but still have yet to try it. Kinda afraid though... Will I end up looking uglier than I already am? Next on my wishlist is a Mac pigment. I had been super in love with it... Think! About the possibilities that I can do. The sheer thought of it is making me bonkers. Since cny is round the corner I thought I'd dress up a little different this year. I haven't thought of the top yet but fret not, I'll figure that out.
Damn! Last week of work and I'll miss that qt guy which idk what his job is lol.
I'll be working all the way till 26 dec without break. Can't decide if I'm excited or not. Well, I did get the job in chanel but I think I will miss my current job. Of coz, nothing beats banquet, which I worked for a few days here and there and whenever I feel like it, most high paid/fun job? I think I enjoy working :) its fun what, no? However I won't be working at the banquet (which I decided not to tell where haha) till maybe after christmas or next year. I can't wait. Standing for long hours is child's play now. Imagine: 8 hours everyday. I almost died at the beginning!!! Thank god my dad fetches me from work sometimes.
My dentist will be glad to hear that my retainers are like my personal heroine. without it, I feel insecure. The constant yearning is making me sick. Am I crazy? I need to go for teeth whitening. Please.
Lastly, I love my family.
--
"Could you be the devil? Could you be an angel?"
Sometimes we met people who were both. They made you laugh and they made you miserable at the same time. Its hard to decide which category they belong to.
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Regret

2011-12-11T02:23:00.001+08:00

All these money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price

And in another life, I promise I will make you stay
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2011-12-10T14:07:00.000+08:00

I forgot to wear my retainers. It is like going out without your teeths. I was so comfortable without retainers that I totally forgot. Omg I can't believe I forgot.
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2011-12-09T01:03:00.001+08:00

那些年错过的大雨那些年错过的爱情好想拥抱你　拥抱错过的勇气曾经想征服全世界到最后回首才发现这世界滴滴点点全部都是你 I'm addicted to this show. The ending sucks.

2011-12-06T18:25:00.001+08:00

Damn I want these hair like abbey lee. I learnt that its created using mac pigments. Since I pass by a mac shop everyday I'm gonna buy some if its reasonable priced. I want it sososo badly.

2011-12-06T09:30:00.001+08:00

Super late so I decided to take the cab. Tanah merah to takashimaya!! I don't want to think of the charges. The man quite nice. Ask about aircon blah and any preferred route. With retainers I'll have more to do in the morning. Need to brush my teeth and brush my retainers and soap it blah. So many stuff to do. Damn... I had been wasting money recently. Spent 16 on starbucks alr. the cupcakes r super nice, the red ones. and I thought cupcakes normally only look nice but not taste nice.
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So true, so sweet

2011-12-04T03:40:00.001+08:00

You're not the easiest person I ever got to know
And it's hard for us both to let our feelings show
Some would say
I should let you go your way
You'll only make me cry
But if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die
It's hard to say it
I hate to say it
But it's probably me
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Dilemma

2011-12-04T01:47:00.000+08:00

I'm in a dilemma. I want to have bangs but yet I really want long middle parting fringe so when I tie them up it looks nice (I hope). I don't remember ever having long middle parting fringes. I want a change. I can never have long hair like girls do nowadays because I can't commit lol. I never have even waist long hair. Those 2 pictures above, both are examples of hair styles I want. The abbey lee picture was when she was walking for chanel last year I think. It was the picture that made me fall in love with abbey lee. Abbey had this fringe that seem to can't cover her entire forehead. That is exactly what I'm experiencing. My hair is too thin its quite irritating sometimes but I won't complain about texture ;) Another picture is just an illusion of the long fringe I was talking about.

I will never win this game without you

2011-11-30T13:13:00.001+08:00

I'm using the hair dryer and hair spray more than ever. Feeling so guilty right now. If one day I wake up with damaged hair I only have myself to blame.
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LMD

2011-11-29T11:07:00.001+08:00

Let's hear the applause
C'mon show me how much better you are
See you deserve some applause'Cause you're so much better

2011-11-29T01:16:00.000+08:00

Finally my braces were removed.
I hate braces.

During this process...
- no teeth was extracted
- 3 xrays was done (1 before, 2 on day of extraction)
- I experienced excruciating pain on the first few weeks and that's it
- now I have to put retainers which are the same thing used for invisalign (I think). Why opt for invisalign? The pain is every few weeks and last for days. For braces its a one time pain spree. Plus the retainers = invisalign so you get to experience both right?
- teeth shifted like crazy, you can actually feel it
- now my mouth feels smaller :)
- I had braces in jun 2010 and nov 2011, its out! Woop!

You only get one shot, make it count.

2011-11-28T02:27:00.001+08:00

The future ahead is bleak. I am afraid. everyday is like a step back until I fall into a well. A well which I had not noticed at all. I do nothing to hold on to my dear life. All I do is fall. The fall is deep, dark and long. I started to feel that this was the result of self destruction. I could not get back to where I was. All my chances are used up. I saw this coming yet I did nothing to change.

Defeated.
My own bare hands were the cause of everything.
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2011-11-26T19:11:00.001+08:00

I saw the aeroplane travelling from one terminal to another via the overhead bridge!! Omg it was so close. Imagine normal overhead bridge with one aeroplane but its overhead bridge for airplanes. Cool shit
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2011-11-25T08:17:00.001+08:00

My dental appointment is next mon. Not today. Damn it.
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Had a dream, I was king. I woke up still a king.

2011-11-25T08:01:00.001+08:00

Here am I posting again. I'm too early for my dental appointment. Its supposed to be at 8.15am. Its 7.56 I think. Basically, I just realised how tired am I. In the train I fell asleep while standing and almost fall. I drank coffee and don't tell me it actually made me sleepier. I wasn't sleepy at this. This chalet I was not sleepy at all.
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:)

2011-11-25T06:32:00.001+08:00

Class chalet was super fun. I'm gonna miss everyone so so so much. Time really flies when you're having fun isn't it? I thought not sleeping will allow me to have more time. Guess not!
Love
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2011-11-24T14:44:00.000+08:00

How can I forget the pictures?

My life

2011-11-24T14:41:00.001+08:00

I'm in chanel office at wheelock place. Its incredible. The moment I stepped out of the lift, the word chanel was right before my eyes. Being an avid fan, I instantly took out my handphone to snap a picture. I don't want these images to be just a picture in my head, I wanted a hard copy. So, right now where I'm sitting, behind me are the stairs. I was pretty taken aback. It looked nothing like a flight of staircase. I had an intense urge to take a picture of it but right in front of me is a camera. So I shall not do it. I really hope I get this job. This is a dream for me. I can forgo everything for this job (except for my studies, of course). I can not have any other jobs but this, this chanel. This is what I want. Please let me get this job. When I grow up, this is where I want to be. I want to live my dreams, for once. This is where I will find happiness. This is where I feel... Me.
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update?

2011-11-21T11:58:00.001+08:00

I ate ox tongue yesterday unknowingly! I thought its wagu (sp?) Beef cube. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz no wonder it taste different, a bit like silicon.

Got myself a dress from zara kids. I can wear sizes for 11-12 year old kids and I can wear sizes for 13-14 year old kids. Lol don't laugh.

Someone just called me knowing I needed a job. How do they know? I don't remember applying lol!
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She's not a saint and she's not what you think. She's an actress

2011-11-19T21:03:00.001+08:00

The story starts when it was hot and it was summer
And, I had it all; I had him right there where I wanted him
She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you can say sabotage
I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with

2011-11-19T14:57:00.001+08:00

But that's the thing about life- it breaks you over and over, and you have to live with the broken places. Knowing they are there. Feeling them every time there's a change or you love someone or miss someone or feel pitifully sorry for someone.

- from the book breathe my name by r.a. Nelson
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2011-11-19T13:03:00.001+08:00

My bro is so annoying. He likes to eat in the room. What's Worst is he eats and use the com at the same time, god knows what dropped into the keyboard. I hate it when people eat in the room. Can't they like eat outside and not multitask.
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Good turned bad

2011-11-19T02:53:00.001+08:00

Well Well, after 10 attempts of typing my device password for a USB TRANSFER (no kidding) i got all my data in my blackberry erased. Great... Off the record, i can't exactly remember what is inside and i'm just hoping it's nothing important. Not like my data are ultra important but memories = important! Anyway, what I really wanted to keep was erased unknowingly in my old phone... so i think this blackberry is of lesser value (memories wise). Now my phone is taking so long to start up (after being completely erase) i am pretty sure all my songs will be gone too. Nooooooo. I have no back up in my com. Actually, i don't have a lot of songs, i hardly get tired of songs so 5 songs is able to last me for 4 to 6 months lol. No kidding. Until now it's only 50%!!! When will it finish loading... i'm waiting.... Geez, Blackberry takes a lot of consideration in privacy, don't they? No wonder some people loves them. My right arm hurts every time i use the com, like, the entire arm.

Shall end of with a song. Well, i'm no big fan of JB but this song gets me every time

Shit, do you think the stuff in my SD card will be erased too? I am going to die in 3 seconds.

--
Edit

Everything turned out well in the end =) nothing much was lost only the setting actually like Emails and stuff. so happy.

Say what

2011-11-18T11:01:00.000+08:00

My dad had been pestering me to find a job and I,UNFORTUNATELY, can't seem to find any (kinda). I do have a job but 1) I don't know if I'm hired 2) its for a really short period. I had half a mind of working for dad. Its not bad I must admit. At least I get to sit comfortably right. But I don't think he will allow so let's forget it. Btw I got my contacts yesterday and I look fugly in it. I don't think the lens fit me, I can feel it. This is bad. I don't want the customised lens coz 1)its yearly! 2) its more expensive. Damn
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2011-11-17T20:58:00.000+08:00

Family of instant food lol

Always for you

2011-11-17T02:07:00.001+08:00

And all the memories that were made
For years and years
I've chased this day
They were always for you
Always for you
I had this on replay. I love it

someone call this pre-depression

2011-11-17T01:45:00.001+08:00

I absolutely hate how i look. Every time i look at myself in pictures, i never fail to think twice before i publish any. In the end all my pictures ended up in saved drafts. i wish when i wake up some day i would be pretty ): depression

do you remember

2011-11-16T23:18:00.001+08:00

I have been comtemplating about buying this particular skirt. Well, i saw one in F21 but it was in blue instead of black. I bought it anyway. And now, i finally found one in black and i'm so buying it. However, right now, at this very moment, i'm experiencing great difficulties purhcasing it and i'm super pissed. So here am i blogging while attempting to enter the web.

Always for you

2011-11-16T00:27:00.001+08:00

Complex images that show the cycles of feelings when you miss someone.

The emotional vacuums and emotional avalanches that envelop you when your loved one is far away;

and how helpless you feel in the midst of it, like the inability of the paper aeroplane to get across the vast ocean.

I don't know when was the last time I used my computer to update my blog. Well, i must admit how much i love the new style of blogger. How much blogger had change and i did not notice it till now. I think i really love updating my blog. i love my blog :)

2011-11-15T21:34:00.000+08:00

Just saw h&m's update on versace for h&m and chanced upon 2 pictures I really love. One of the picture contains abbey lee kershaw, my favourite model in the whole wide world lol. She's modelling for h&m for the second time, If I'm not wrong. With abbey lee, I bet this is something big. Huge! Another picture is a picture which I thought was cute. Hahaha I love the girl's dress. I would wear it if I have prom, but no I don't. Ok anyway, I went to h&m yesterday but nothing fits me damn. Anyway, its quite pricey and I've wasted $50 on h&m clothes that don't fit me. I bought them online before they came to sg. Even size xs is too big.

"Let's walk instead"

2011-11-15T21:03:00.000+08:00

All the time, I avoided walking home from tanah merah mrt. It never fails to bring back memorises. whenever it happens, I would push it aside with all my might. Today it felt different. Its like I really miss you and I want to think of it. Its exhausting to constantly being reminded of people you don't want to remember at all. Do you have any idea how that feels at all? Some how, we all just have our limits and just crumble under those memorise and give in to them. I wondered why I rely on people so much.
I should keep myself busy more often. Never under estimate the hectic life. Its the hectic life that allows you to think less of things you don't want to think at all. Its like a cheap getaway. Escaping is my remedy and being a hermit seemed to be my hobby. Don't you find it too incredible? How someone can change the way you think, change the person you are. That someone is like high tide wave that's approaching and you're hopeless. Standing awkwardly, witnessing how the waves engulf you and you drown under the immerse pressure. The next thing you know, you feel light, wondering if you had just defy gravity. You're floating. You're free. One day, it will hit you that being free is just an illusion. Defying gravity is just a temporal distraction. The waves that you've given in to, remains the truth you've been avoiding. Before you realise it, those waves, those memorise had been engraved in your mind. Those memories are like spark. Easy to obtain, dangerous and could start a fire.
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2011-11-14T21:33:00.000+08:00

Do I really come across as a hostile, unfriendly person? Really? I really dislike smiling to people sometimes or even starting a conversation. Its like I never make the first move or sth. I guess I will never ever take the initiative ever. I'm always waiting for people to talk to me first even when they say hi or smile I'm still reluctant to respond. I don't know what made me this way. I will feel irritated if you smile/talk to me when I just wanna stfu.
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Can you love someone till it becomes a habit?

2011-11-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

I realised that there's many things that seemed so easy.
Its easy to say that there are much more fishes out there.
Its easy to say move on.
Its easy to say stop dreaming.
Its easy to say "just breathe!".
Its easy to just fake the smile.
Its easy to think its not your fault.
Its easy to just escape.
Its easy to think it doesn't matter.
Its easy to lie.
Its easy to say to want to forget everything.
Its easy to just dream.
Its easy to pretend like you've already forgotten.
What when things want to remind you what had happened, it do it so easily. How memories can just rewind and play itself, like emotions are nonexistent. Its hard to think of nothing at all.
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But I do do feel that I do do will miss you much

2011-11-14T12:05:00.000+08:00

So happy with my new grey converse!!! Woop woop got contacts yesterday also. I'm on cloud nine! Always wanted a pair of converse, had one in black but its too small for me now. Am gonna wear my converse out later. I think I'm converse girl for now. I like to transform. I hate toms now. The more I look at my toms the more ugly-er it looks. And heels... Hmmm I walk really slow when I'm in them. Given my height I think its better if I master the art of wearing heels. I know that wa lao. Ok so this morning I went to tuition and jeanne and I almost feel asleep. Haha ok idk if she slept but she said she was tired. After tuition we went to grab a coffee from the machine and now I don't feel like sleeping. So stoked. Meeting joyce after the mcq paper later but I don't think I will be spending any $. Oh god I need money. Going for job interview tomorrow. Anyway I bought 4 items online cause we were having o levels and I can't go out. They take forever to arrive ugh! Only 1 did. This post is so me. Can't wait to read my books. I'm a bookworm actually hahahaha. Many people told me its super obvious. Oh ya about my contacts my eyes or eyeball or sth are apparently too small for contacts so I need some kind of customisation shit. But I am trying one brand first to see if it fits. Contacts are so expensive. Mine easily went up to $300 (grrrrrr) plus a year cause I have er... Idk what its called. Idk why am I typing this. I think I just want to remember today if I read this post some time in the future. If the world ends in 2012 I will... I'm not telling you. Ok bye to whoever is reading this xoxo
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2011-11-13T12:56:00.000+08:00

I miss the Escargot dish in royal carribean ): can only find similar ones.
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Believe me? Really?

2011-11-13T01:24:00.001+08:00

Sometimes when people tell me "you're going to be fine!" And I never believe them. But you know what? When I say that sentence to others, I actually expect them to believe me, to trust me. I know that if its going to turn out fine then why did it started so badly?
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All that's left and all that's truly mine are my memories of you

2011-11-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days
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Bring back the old times

2011-11-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

First batch of books that I'll be reading. I want to see how many books I can read during this holiday lol I like to keep track of things you know? Ensure nothing gets out of hand or ensure that I don't lose anything. Ok whatever. A picture of kendall jenner I love her!!! I love keeping up with the kardashians

I think the song hot and cold suits you very well

2011-11-12T02:33:00.001+08:00

I knew I said I refrained from taking pictures but let this be an exception. I looked fugly and I know that already, come on! We were at katong after having astons. Astons is less delicious now. Is it because I'm eating it for the second time? Wanted to eat steamboat so badly. Its my favourite and I love coco steamboat, the best!

I realised something!!!! After o levels means I get to wear contact lens!! Yea!!!! Woooo!! Ok this is a much happier tone from previous posts I realised........... And I also get to remove my braces on the 25th nov! Brace yourself mel! (Ok was trying to be lame). Because my appointment is on 25nov 8.15am, I am really contemplating about class chalet. Hmmmm

If you forget me

2011-11-12T02:07:00.000+08:00

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
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